It’s not even one month since I wrote the last post on attachment parenting, and already my thoughts are different. They’re not totally different, but I’ve further refined and qualified the insight from The Continuum Concept about not being child centered. Previously I had decided to let Wyatt whine more often. Now I’m working harder to keep him constantly stimulated. I don’t believe this will spoil him, and I think the effort will be worth it.

I’ve decided that the name of the game for the next two or three months, until Wyatt is mobile, is to keep him from getting bored. Thus when he whines, although I have to delay him sometimes to finish something, I’m still taking his whining seriously and stopping it before well before it leads to whimpering or crying. The New First Three Years has an important section on how to treat the baby who is 6-8 months old. Pretty much, don’t let the baby cry from boredom, because it will teach the baby to demand cry. This demand crying, once begun, is apt to continue and get worse. If you can keep it from getting started, your baby will in essence remain too innocent to cry as a way to demand attention from you. This is hard, since babies in this phase are ultra curious about the world yet can’t explore it on their own. But it’s worth it. In practical terms, for me, it means doing lots of loops outside in the back yard. Wyatt almost never whines outside, and after he gets his nature fix, he is often less susceptible to boredom for a while, provided I remain active indoors. He often sighs happily throughout the day, when I manage to give him a full day.

It also means wearing him around a lot in the Joey position in my new Ellaroo wrap. He is strapped right to my belly, facing out, with his arms and legs dangling. He loves it. People laugh when they see it, but they also comment on how much fun it looks like he’s having, as he looks around wide-eyed and swings his legs. Babywearing orthodoxy has it that facing babies out is bad. This is thought to be because they get overstimulated and can’t read the mother’s social cues. In actuality, Wyatt pays no attention to me whatsoever when I carry him. He pays attention to the world. If somebody else is holding him, he often won’t take his eyes off me unless he’s outdoors, but if I’m holding him, he doesn’t want to look at my social cues. He wants to look around, and he doesn’t want to miss a thing. He hates hates hates the tummy-to-tummy position. It makes him cry. As soon as he will tolerate it, however, I will wear him in a high back carry. This will have the advantage of allowing him to rest his head on my shoulder to sleep when he gets tired, while also allowing him a vantage point to see everything.